Improvements - Kate

I was back at clinic today, and my a1c is now 10.0 %. I'm thrilled on the huge improvement :). Thanks to you guys for the supportive comments :).

Variables, Variables in all Directions! -Emma.

First off, sorry I haven't been posting for a while. Life got on top of me a little; I've got fairly important exams coming up and other crap.

So, I had a couple of weeks of lovely highs. Not HIGH highs, but constant highs in the low 200s, of the sort that make you want to scream with the fact that you never seem to get into the normal range. I was upping my ratios, upping my basals, NOTHING worked.

One day, last week, I was just below 200mg/dl before dinner, and suddenly, an hour after, 54. "Well, what the fuck?" I was thinking: "I haven't been low in a couple of weeks now!" It was a pretty hard to treat one, but I never felt too bad so it was okay. Since then, until today I'd been in the 50s every day! Backed off the basals a little, turned down the I:Cs, snacked more.. did everything possible.

Seriously, I don't know why there have to be SO many variables. We all rely so much on homeostasis, and when it all goes wrong it's nigh impossible to figure stuff out without a continuous, accurate, blood glucose monitor. Or insulin which can work super quick like the stuff in pancreases (pancrei?). Ugh. I love my pump, but even this will never be enough to get me _control_.


So, anyhow. Today's been awesome. One of the best days I had in a while, especially the morning, although I was continuously snacking on glucose tabs from 9 through 12.




PS. The post lunch spike is necessary to enable me to walk to my bus without dropping into the 40s. My basal is suspended for 3 hours. It's the only way. Sadly.

I know to some people, that graph would not represent a good day, but for me.. It's freaking awesome.

Hopefully I'll post more frequently from now on.. (: Still got a lot of revision to do, though.

If Only It Were All A Nightmare. - Kate

Sometimes I wish this could all be a dream. This whole diabetes thing. As i'm sure we all do. I have been having nightmares lately. Last night, without going into too much detail, diabetes basicly did everything it could to me, and I had every diabetes complication you could possibly imagine, streaming in endlessly one after the other. That was a dream.

Yesterday, when I went to get my A1C done, it read greather than 14%. The machine doesn't read over 14%. That wasn't a dream. And last night's nightmare might become a reality pretty soon if I can't get this down.

Panic.
Failure.
Worthless.
Ashamed.
Lost.
Scared.